Are you having a hard time making the right impression at work? Do you need to get ahead at work? Well, I have just the right advise for you! Follow these funny, yet indisputably useful office pointers and you will soon see results.
Please note, these office rules are funny and not to be taken too seriously. Enjoy!
1. Always look irritated, impatient and annoyed
Do you want to avoid being hassled by co-workers or management? Always try to maintain an irritated or annoyed expression on your face throughout the day. Act as though you are on a deadline and cannot afford to be disturbed. This implies you are busy and in the middle of something important (even if you’re not!)
2. Walk with purpose!
Never, ever walk casually from one office or desk to the other – this just looks like you are slacking off work. You need to look purposeful so others believe you have reason to get up and move away from your desk. In reality, you could just be off to chat with your colleague, but if you walk there like you mean it, people will never suspect!
3. Keep your desk messy
Have you not heard that messy is the new busy? Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we’re not working hard enough. Therefore, stack your table high, even if you are a neat freak at home, trust me, you’ll need a messy desk at work. A messy desk simply shows you have work piled up to your eyeballs and are flooded with tasks to get through; therefore no-one will want to bother you!
4. Type on your computer whenever someone walks by
Even if you are researching something important or just staring at the screen of the PC, unless you are typing away furiously at your keyboard, it won’t look like you are actually working! Type and look engrossed in what you are doing. (Just don’t draw too much attention!)
5. Always carry one or two documents around with you
This is a renowned tactic to having that look of a hard worker. For all your colleagues know, you could be carrying around blank papers! Remember, walk briskly, with an irritated look on your face, and carry a few documents with you, and you will most definitely look the part!
6. Smile at the boss, always
Irrespective of how miffed you are at the boss, always give him or her a smile and a nod of the head. This shows a level of respect (even if you are cursing them under your breath!)
7. Send emails at unearthly hours
Do you want to create the impression that you are a workaholic and that you take your job seriously? Simple! Just set your alarm at home for some insane hour, get up, email work with something (anything work related in fact), and bingo – you look like you have been up all night slaving away at work projects whilst everyone else is fast asleep in bed!
8. Never leave the office on time
You should try to leave the office at least 10 minutes after you’re ‘allowed’ to leave. This shows that you are not running out the door soon as the clock strikes 5pm!
9. Creative Sighing for Effect
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.
10. Have 2 Jackets
If you work in a big open spaced office, and you want to dash somewhere, always leave a spare jacket draped over the back of your seat. This gives the impression that you are still on the premises. The second jacket should be worn while having fun elsewhere.10 Hilarious But Real Office Rules To Live By by Stellamaris Obomanu