The Ultimate Guide to Playing Office Politics (and Winning)

Be Everyone’s Friend

Being everyone’s friend is easily the most difficult job you can want to do especially in a big office with potentially several difficult people.

Still you should try or appear to be everyone’s friend. You know, be that guy or lady they all want to share their ‘wahala’ with. It buys you a steady supply of the office gists and information goldmine so you know what’s up at anytime.

I Belong to Everybody; I Belong to Nobody

how can u say










Not taking sides while still appearing to sympathise with all involved in a dispute is the mark of genius when involved in office politics.

Simply adopt President Buhari’s famous stand and declare your neutrality and support at the same time.

Not easy to pull off, is it?

Can You Kiss Ass and Tell the Truth at the Same Time

kiss ass job













You would have to combine the attributes of Judas and Paul on one hand and Jesus on the other hand. Not an easy thing to do at all.

Don’t Take Things Personally

not personal



You are trying to be funny to a colleague or catch her by surprise and the next thing she tongue-lashes you?

Don’t take it personal. It’s all work.

Be Ambitious yet Humble


You know you want to get to the pinnacle of your career. You think you are probably one of the smartest at the office. You can’s stand some of your colleagues?

You still need to go about your business humbly. As Rick Warren said ‘Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.’

Blessed are Those Who Give

You know the beatitudes right? We know pentecostal pastors will be delighted to read this but we are not talking about that kind of giving where you empty your wallet into the coffer of the church.

We mean giving to your colleagues when they need it. Give your time to listen to their stories and woes. Give your expertise to help that colleague troubleshoot his computer or complete his proposal. That sort of giving is what we mean.

Don’t Embark on Smear Campaigns

This is where you must not act like politicians. Yes.

Don’t be seen bad-mouthing any colleague and trying to paint others black. You only end up pouring black charcoal on yourself if you do that. You don’t want to make unnecessary enemies in the office especially if you are new, junior or not sure yet of your standing. Even if you are not any of the three you still shouldn’t do smear campaigns.

smear campaign

Look Out for the Bad Guys

Like in the movies almost every office with sizeable number of staff has a couple of bad guys. In big companies they may be several of them. They are the power drunks, maybe connected to the ogas. You don’t want to cross them.

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