12 Shades of Bosses and How to Win Their Love

TGIF! TGIF!! TGIF!!! Back in school, I did not understand that acronym. Don’t get me wrong o, I knew it meant ‘thank God it’s Friday’ but I did not understand the buzz and fuzz or should I just say the craze associated with it. Thankfully, now I do. Alongside salaries, deadlines, annoying colleagues and stress, bosses are one of the things that make you scream TGIF!!! In my life, I have seen and heard about different bosses, ranging from amazing to aggravating. Anyways, today, I will identify 12 shades of bosses and how you can relate with each of these characters (if your boss happens to be like one).

The Machine

machine boss

This kind of boss is characterized by an empty desk, no family pictures and no emotions. They are all about business, all the time. I am not saying she’s not human (yes, it has to be a she, because you’d hardly find a man who is that stringent). This boss is the sworn enemy of fun, levity, and emotion, The machine would rather you just get to work and that means, all the time. While it is nice having someone who drives you to do your best, it would also be nice to feel some sort of emotional connection with the person from time to time, right?

Solution: You’ll probably have to conceal your own feelings and buckle down to her schedule. It may not sound like a lot of fun, but on flip side, she’ll teach you discipline and efficiency. Try making friends with your co-workers. They’re almost certainly as frustrated as you are! Inside jokes and friendly chit-chat can make the day seem brighter.

The Screamer

screamer

This kind of boss is characterized by a high-pitch voice, a superiority complex, and belief that others are wrong. The screamer is of the opinion that he will get his way if he raises his voice to an unconscionable level: the higher the volume, the higher the commitment. The screamer is a very edgy character by nature, he doesn’t like to dwell on ‘any’ reason behind a problem, but instead takes solace from the fact that he has scolded someone, and hence, he has prevented the mistake from re-occurring. Many of you may have certainly come across such bosses.

Solution: All in all, screamers just want to know that they’re being heard, and they want recognition. If you can get along with your screamer boss, and gain his respect and trust, perhaps you can help guide him to lower tones.

The Scaremonger Boss

scaryyyyyyy

This kind of boss is characterized by breeding fear and uncertainty in the minds of subordinates.  People would scramble to do what a “fearsome” boss says because they’re afraid of him and what he might do. This in turn actually encourages him to dish out further intimidation. He always has a threat for any failed assignment, and he constantly follows through with that threat in order to keep his employees in line.

Solution: do what you are supposed to in the right way and at the right time. Oh and yeah, develop a thick skin to his threats because fear has a way of making you do the wrong thing despite your right intentions

The Manipulator Boss

manipulative-boss

This boss is characterized by his Machiavellian ways. Also known as the deceitful boss, Mr. Manipulator is very intelligent and if you ask me, one of the most dangerous. The manipulator boss is extremely focused, motivated, and always has a secret (evil) plan. He looks at the people around him as a means to an end. People he touches or runs over on the way to the top are casualties of his quest and he writes off without a backward glance.

Solution: If you work for a manipulator, watch your back! Your best bet is to be open and honest with him. Don’t ever make the mistake of believing that anything he does is for your benefit.

The Viper

someThis boss is characterized by his sarcasm, backhanded compliments and fake smiles. 

Does he wake up on the wrong side of the bed every single morning? It definitely seems like it and he pours it all out on his subordinates.  From ill-humored comments about personal matters (“Are you pregnant? Oh, it just seemed like you getting fat and lazy.”) to undermining your efforts at work (“So you’re just learning Excel, right?”), The Viper has a knack  for making you feel bad about yourself. No matter how thick your skin is, it’s hard not feel his sting from time to time.

Solution: I am not actually certain that the Viper is capable of loving an employee or anyone as a matter of fact. So it’s better to just stay clear of him or her. Keep your feelings to yourself, and share as little information about your life as possible, while being extremely pleasant, notice I emphasized extremely? The Viper can’t hurt you if she or she doesn’t know where you’re sensitive.

The Pal

Businesswoman Harassing Female Colleague In Office

Businesswoman Harassing Female Colleague In Office

This boss is characterized by Hugs, warm smiles and high-fives. The Pal wants to be your friend, not your boss. Sadly for him you’ve already got friends and you don’t want to hang out with him anyway. From “dry gist of his glorious years” to unfunny jokes that you’ve just got to laugh at (or else!) The Pal has a way of making fun into a chore. And please don’t get me started on his habit of trying to start questionable relationships with subordinates.

Solution: Laugh at his funnier jokes, but don’t stoop to laughing at everything that comes out of his mouth in the name of a joke. Say a polite ‘no thanks’ to all the invitations you can, and keep your own interactions with him on an extremely professional level.  Protect yourself with a thick layer of decorum and common sense.

 The Monster

monster boss

This kind of boss is characterized by tantrums and evil schemes. What do they do? No, the question is more “What don’t they do?” The Monster’s sole reason for existence is to make your life hell, and he’s good at it. He can go from screaming at you in the presence  of customers and visitors to lying about you to superiors in just to make you look bad and  sabotage your efforts at progress. The Monster over and over again shows that she has no form pity, human decency, or shame. She’s the worst boss around, hands down, and I am sorry for anyone who has to deal with her.

Solution: regrettably, with this one you just have to pack up and run. Get out. There’s no hope for progress when you work for someone who has no scruples at all.

The God Boss

god boss

This boss is characterized by erratic demands and errands. The god boss, aptly defines the term ‘megalomaniac’. He will likely be the only one to have an engraved gold plate on his office door, desk, and chair proclaiming his rank. He takes outrageous liberties like having an employee clean out his car or even his office restroom. When you question him about his actions or demands, he’ll just point to the gold plates. Be sure that his ‘cloak of power’ hides a great deal of incompetence.

Solution: you want to get along with a god boss? Humour him. Obey his rules, and give him the impression that you’re doing things his way. Remember, he can control almost everything but your mind.

The Paranoid Boss

paranoid boss

This kind of boss is characterized by mistrust and conspiracy theory. The paranoid boss is utterly suspicious of everyone’s moves and motives. Anything anyone does in and outside the office could be attempts to undermine him. The Paranoid boss’ feelings of inadequacy and mistrust will clearly end up interfering in what’s best for the company and his employees.

Solution: Reassure him of your loyalty to him. Always be honest and forthright.

The Idiot Boss

idiot bossThis kind of boss is characterized by annoying cluelessness and plain stupidity. It’s just as if he just walked into the office yesterday and started running it without any form of training. He has no idea of what’s going on in the office and when he makes decisions, they are almost always a disaster.

Solution: Your choices here are limited. Do your personal best, and for your own sake, realize that your boss serves a purpose. Figure out what it is.

The Perfectionist

perfectionist

This kind of boss is characterized by a need to instill perfection in everything around him. The perfectionist’s behaviour is obsessive and draining to a fault. His attitude leaves you with very little trust in your own abilities.  With time, you’ll discover that nothing you do will ever be good enough for him.

Solution: Instead of losing all motivation and dignity, learn to work for yourself and your own standards. He cannot be pleased or satisfied. If you are a bold person, sit down with your boss and ask him to explain his expectations so that the both of you can be on the same page.

The Great Boss

great boss

This kind of boss is characterized by every possible thing that makes a great boss. He is a supportive motivator and he treats everyone with fairness regardless of office politics. He communicates, maintains an open door policy, and encourages and challenges others to follow suit. He leads by example; he has vision, is not afraid, and doesn’t scream. He coaches and mentors his staff, and when employees leave, they will talk about him for years to come. in an ideal world, he is the best boss to have running a company as he runs  both the management and his employees efficiently.

Solution: Dealing with this kind of a boss is not a problem especially if you perform your duties well enough. However, you need to be cautious of such bosses, as they are highly determined to rise in the hierarchy. If he feels that you are a threat to his goals, he will have you removed from the company.

We may or may not have the luck of working with good leaders or even ‘the great boss’ but we have to work under somebody- five days a week or even more. Learning to deal with whatever situation you have on your plate, makes you an outstanding professional. So what is your boss like, and how do you deal with your boss?

About Stellamaris Obomanu

Loves to read, loves to write, loves to laugh, loves life and yeah, she's as real as they come.

One Comment

  1. Emeka Muoka says:

    Why worry about bosses when you can be your own boss, when you can create your own economy?
    You can do it. I don’t know you but here is what I know about you, based upon my own experience; that you have something special. You have greatness within you. You have the ability to do more than you can ever imagine. Don’t allow any boss to determine your destiny and future.
    What is that thing that you dream about? If you have the WILL, and with the help of God, you’d get it. God bless you, God bless your dream.

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